Marriage Trends - Divorce

Many have come to view marriage as unimportant, non-essential, and even hindering.  Divorce is acceptable and a common practice when challenges arise in marriages. I feel that marriage is a vital part of a good society and especially for the welfare of children. Why should we be concerned about how others view marriage? “Marriage fosters small cooperative unions…that enable children to thrive, shore up communities, and help family members succeed during good times and to weather the bad times.” (The State of Our Unions, 2012 p. xii.) 

Studies have shown that children thrive in a home with two biological parents rather than in a single parent home.  Paul Amato investigated the differences in these two groups of children. His findings state, “…that children growing up with tow continuously married parents are less likely to experience a wide range of cognitive, emotional, and social problems, not only during childhood but also in adulthood.” (Paul R. Amato, The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation, p. 1.)

I have seen the effects of divorce on families. It always seems hardest for the children. They are often left with lifetime scars that are never healed. When a couple has worked and tried all they can to repair their marriage, divorce may be the best for them. However, let them be aware of their children and make every effort to help these children overcome the affects divorce will have for them.

From my observations, I feel that when divorce has occurred, with few exceptions, both partners must take some of the fault. Even though one spouse may have committed grievous acts, usually the other spouse needs to look at their own actions to determine their own contribution to the problems, or their lack of being fully present in the marriage. Marriage needs full cooperation from both husband and wife. Communication is the most critical skill needed for couples to work towards a good marriage. Each partner must continually seek to better themselves and not the other partner. We can only change ourselves and through our change inspire our mate.

Marriage can be most rewarding when both spouses are willing to sacrifice and give all their effort to fulfilling the needs of their mate. It is something that we need to be consistently working at improving. When challenges come, and they always will come, let us not be quick to end the marriage. I believe that as we work together and include the Lord in our marriage, we can overcome these challenges. I believe that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, September 1995.)  The Lord wants our marriages and families to succeed; He will help us know how we can heal our marriage and what each partner needs.